Thanks for the joke, Dragonwing. This pseudo-clandestine, pseudo-military bunch called the Geek Squad is nothing more than a cleverly named computer support organization.

http://www.geeksquad.com/
http://www.geeksquad.co.uk/

Manuals? Don't try eating them after reading - you'll still feel hungry. :)

Quote from "Double Agent Handbook":

1.3 - USEFUL PHRASES
Goal: To arm you with effective responses to client questions and concerns
FIRST TIME CLIENTS
Q: ”I’ve never used the Geek Squad before”
A: “Then today is your lucky day”
Also tell them that getting a house call is “Easier than ordering a pizza”
Q: “My computer is totally screwed up”
A: “No problem ma’am, it happens to everyone”
Q: “Where are you located?”
A: “We base our metro operations out of Best Buy Stores. This allows us to rapidly get parts
and accessories as well as access to information on computer products. “
PRICING
“We are actually less expensive when you realize that we are flat-rated, we guarantee our
work, and since we perform better work, you’ll need fewer visits from us.”
“Our flat-rates, pre-paid accounts, and maintenance agreements are great for budgeting
because you’ll know the cost in advance.”
“We fully guarantee our work. If the work is not performed to your satisfaction, we’ll
remedy the problem free of charge.”
OTHER USEFUL PHRASES
“You’re not paying for our time, you’re paying us to get it working right - the first time. We
fully guarantee our work, and you are paying a flat rate - so you are guaranteed not to pay
more than that”
Q: “Do you fix computers?”
A: “Better than anybody”
“You only use us when you need us”
“We’ve been around for over 10 years”
Never say “I don’t know” - it’s always better to say “I’ll find out”

LOL!!!

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